I Let Go Of My Life And Come Alive Again

YOU THINK I’M CRAZY

You think I'm crazy, well maybe I am
I don't expect you to understand
Out on a limb's not something I planned
How to explain it's just who I am

I never could've dreamed life would be so
Never could've dreamed... so rich in so many ways
Never could've imagined that I would be on this road
I'm traveling
I'm just so grateful to be here today

You think I'm foolish to follow my heart
Most people tell me it's not very smart
Still I follow my feelings and reach for the stars
Who would've known it would get me this far

I never could've dreamed life would be so
Never could've dreamed... so rich in so many ways
Never could've imagined that I would be on this road
I'm traveling
I'm just so grateful to be here today

I don't want to waste it...
I want to feel and know that my feelings really real
I don't want to taste it...
I gotta be doing it, doing it, doing it day and night

You think I'm crazy this life that I choose
With it's highs and it's lows I could win, I could lose
But really my friend I'm a whole lot like you
Just taking my chances and seeing things through

I never could've dreamed life would be so
Never could've dreamed... so rich in so many ways
Never could've imagined that I would be on this road
I'm traveling
I'm just so grateful to be here today...

 

WE ARE ONE

As you go through life you'll see
There is so much that we
Don't understand


And the only thing we know
Is things don't always go
The way we planned


But you'll see every day
That we'll never turn away
When it seems all your dreams come undone


We will stand by your side
Filled with hope and filled with pride
We are more than we are
We are one


If there's so much I must be
Can I still just be me
The way I am?
Can I trust in my own heart
Or am I just one part
Of some big plan?


Even those who are gone
Are with us as we go on
Your journey has only begun


Tears of pain, tears of joy
One thing nothing can destroy
Is our pride, deep inside
We are one


We are one, you and I
We are like the earth and sky
One family under the sun
All the wisdom to lead
All the courage that you need
You will find when you see
We are one

Deep In The Heart Of Chisamba Jungle, You Can Hear Banani Rumble! Who Haa! Who Haa!

I feel the need to tell people about the transportation here, which happens to include the absolute radiance of the people here.

Fact: The mini buses are always packed. By packed, I mean you are most likely not in an upright position and you are definitely tweaking some part of your body. Body parts may even go numb. No else can fit, unless you shove them under the seat (this has not happened).

Fact: Almost anything can be brought onto the bus. Huge bags of rice or grain, cement, live chickens, boxes of fruit. There is somehow always space for it.

Fact: You may wait five seconds to flag down a bus, or, on many occasions, an hour. There isn’t really a time system.

Fact: You will always meet interesting people on the buses.

Now, my love for these buses has not wavered. In fact, it has only increased.

Last week, the youth were heading to Kabwe for a teaching trip. As we were heading there, the bus stopped to pick up a woman and her two children. There wasn’t much room, so she was going to have both of them sit on her lap plus the three bags she was carrying. However, as she was getting in and situated, a man in front grabbed one of her bags and just held it on his lap. This is second nature here. No one thinks twice about it. If someone has too much, others will take it and hold it for them until they got off. I feel like if that happened in America, the person who took it to be helpful would just get beat or something. Shame.

Then, another wonderful thing happened. The conductor wouldn’t let her have her two kids on her lap cuz there just wasn’t room, so he took one of the girls and put her on his lap. What? My God, a woman would freak the EF out if a man took her child and put her on his lap.

Not here.

Then, a man got off and the little girl sat in his seat until other people got on and she would just sit on them. I think she sat on three different laps, and it wasn’t a big deal. Just people helping people. What a concept.

I love how this place is very much a family and everyone helps each other out. It’s incredible.

On this same trip, we were told by guards at Banani to pay 40 pin total to Kabwe. The conductor even said 10 pin each for the four of us. That is, until we got on the bus and started moving. I gave him a 50 and asked for 10 pin back, but then he raised it to 20 pin.

SAY WHAT?! Psh. He be a fool if he think we gonna pay that much.

He tried lowering it to 15. Please. We were sticking with 10 pin each and I wasn’t leaving without my change.

When we arrived at the Kabwe bus station, I asked the conductor for my change and he told me I owed him 10. So then I went to the driver and spoke with him. Long story short, after some marriage proposals and refusals, asking if they were ripping us off cuz we’re white, and some good ol’ bantering, I got my 10 pin back.

However, when we called the family we were staying with, they told us it actually is 15 pin from Banani to Kabwe. Oops. I felt like a terrible person, BUT the conductor did say 10 pin at first.

Well, now we know and it won’t happen again.

Also, it is 15 pin to Lusaka…and we have only paid twelve. I never would have guessed that WE were ripping THEM off. Bah!

So anyway, Kabwe was awesome and we went to a devotional the morning we arrived, volunteered to tutor Ruhi Book 2 that week, and then went to visit the parent’s of some of the junior youth. The families are wonderful, and we explained more about the junior youth program and how it provides moral, spiritual, intellectual, and social education and how its aim is to empower them. Some families only spoke Bemba, so Yvonne would translate for us. She introduced us to some of the kids in her JY group.

We also met a man named Gilbert who is one of Yvonne’s friends. We chatted with him for a bit and then some drunken guys came up to us and tried to talk, so Yvonne and Gilbert put us in a car and we headed home. It was rather amusing, and Gilbert seems soooo awesome! I think he is about 60 or 70 and he is quite the character.

The next morning, on Monday, we came back to Banani. Nura, Sharghi and I were going to go back to Kabwe on Wednesday to do a Book 2 intensive. SAWEEET!!!

We had three days to do Book 2…and we freaking did it! My dear sweet awesomeness, we finished it! It was loads of fun. The group was amazing and I really hope the intensive was effective. They all seem so willing to fill the needs of their community, so hopefully us tutors didn’t destroy their capacity. We learned so much from them and things that we thought were universal were, in fact, not. For example, naturally/easily introducing Baha’i concepts into conversations about poverty or literacy. Back home, I would say that that is easy and can definitely be done, but here it is almost taboo to talk about and can be extremely offensive. In this culture it isn’t easy or natural to bring up and people may expect you to help them financially. Not to say that it shouldn’t be brought up, but just that there are appropriate ways to go about it. You need to be sensitive to the norms of the culture. What may seem doable in one part of the world isn’t always doable in another part of the world.

Duh. But this helped solidify that idea.

Oh Ruhi. Job well done.

As well as doing Ruhi, we sat in on a PSA class. I think that stands for Preparation for Social Action. Anyway, it’s an educational system formed in small group tutorials that aims to provide spiritual and intellectual education to help people contribute to social transformation. The session we sat in on was about energy. Oh that brought back memories of Miller’s physics class. It was really interesting to listen and participate in. We didn’t get too far before we had to leave, but it was great to finally see that in action.

We also visited Gilbert and my earlier assumption of how great he seemed was proved correct. He shared so many stories and his thoughts and views on many issues. He talked a lot about education, religion, and poverty. He brought up really interesting points and we could not get a word in edge wise. For real. We just sat there with our glasses of juice and enjoyed the conversation. He was quite passionate about the importance of education and was saying that people think Zambia is a peaceful country when it really isn’t because people are fighting against poverty every day. How could a country be peaceful when people are starving and don’t have a place to sleep? Peace is not JUST the absence of war, but the absence of strife.

Mah! I just loved this man. He invited us to stay with him and his wife if we ever need to. He showed us around his house and showed us the “refrigerator domestic” and said he had a working toilet like “European.” Haha! He’s a gem.

OH OH!!! And the first trip to Kabwe we stayed with Muhammed and Isabelle who was very very pregnant. Almost to the point of not being pregnant anymore. So when we came the second time, we stayed with Chibwe and his family. While we were there, Isabelle had her baby and we went to go see him! He is sooooo cute! And they are great with him. They don’t speak to him in that baby language. They speak to him like he is an actual human life form with intelligence. I liked that.

AND! Chibwe’s wife can play the guitar and one night she started playing “We are One” from flippen LION KING 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh joy of joys! And they also have a really cute daughter. I love the families here!

Oh, right. Christmas was nice. We baked cookies all day and have eaten them all. Scrumptious! My first hot Christmas too! Ha! That was amusing. It never felt like Christmas, even with seeing all the X-mas decorations and hearing X-mas music. When we went to Shoprite, it was sooo insanely crowded! We had no idea why, and then Nura remembered it was X-mas eve. What? When did that happen?

This week we’ve just been relaxing, watching a lot of tv shows and movies on Krista’s laptop, meeting Colleen’s friends, hanging with the Moore’s, and saying goodbye to Madame Mwika. She was the French teacher, but she is going back to Congo. I’m going to miss her so much. She was such a sweet person.

Also, this place reminds me a lot of Badasht, a camp I go to in the summer. It’s a little creepy sometimes and I expect youth to start singing. It’s nice to feel like I’m at Badasht.  Sometimes it makes me miss all the people back home, except for the Head’s and Hal and Anne cuz they’re leaving (just kidding, I miss you guys) and all the singing, but I love it nonetheless.

Oh, and playing in the rain instead of swimming…such a good idea.

LYLT

Oh Holy Night Thank God There's Peace and Quiet...

I think I am subconsciously craving Christmas cuz I have had 2 kinda Christmasy titles.

Anyway...MY PARENTS ARE HERE!!!! Woot Woot!!! I was terrified they were going to have trouble getting to their hotel cuz they arrived at night and a driver in town was getting them...and I didn't want him to rip them off. I had been assured he wouldn't, but you never know. I was told they should pay no more than K150,000
My parents told me they had paid $100.

WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? That's K500,000. This is also known as a Rip Off. Bah! However, we figured it was ok, cuz it was late, raining like crazy, and an hour and so minutes out of town. Sooo, a $100 for there and back? Ok....ok.
Still a little much but at least they got here safely and the driver was nice. I am so happy they are here. I wish Jet could come, but Krista’s mom sent me a stuffed animal dog to represent Jet. That made me explode with joy!

We went to Livingston with some of the other youth. Mei and Shalom have left, and I miss them already and it's barely been a week. Thankfully Shalom lives here till she goes to school in January, but Mei. Ah, it's weird without her.

Anyway, Livingston. I forgot my rain coat, but by the grace of God it didn’t rain! We went to Victoria Falls and the water was low so we were able to walk across the river which was bascially just rocks. After the rainy season, that part is flooded and you definitely can't walk there. We had a guy guide us across it. I think he was an illegal tour guide, and you can't pay them, but he was quite helpful.
We got right on the ledge. Um....it's high. Colleen went in August and bungeed from the bridge, which is about the 3rd highest jump in the world. If I had jumped, I think it would have been more of a fall off the bridge cuz I went unconscious due to extreme fear.

We also went to this traditional dance at the Arts Cafe called "Dancing Around Zambia" and it covers 4 out of the 9 provinces. It was so good! One of the songs they did was a version of a song some of the girls at Banani sing so were excited about that.
This Cafe is sooooo freaking cool. They basically want to keep the culture alive and have workshops from 11 to 5 for only K50,000!! That's $10 for stone carving, wire sculpting, drum making, and other things. SOOOOOOOOO COOL!!! We didn'get to do it, but three youth stayed a day later than us and they did it. Jealous.

There's also a museum that explains the beginning of Zambia and the people in it. It was really interesting and explained the traditions and ways of life of the people. It seemed to really emphasize how technology has tried to kill its culture and takes many of the young people from the villages to the bigger cities, which is sad. I feel it's important to evolve and progress materially, but you also need to equally progress spiritually. A little mixture ain’t bad.

We went on a sunset cruise and saw crocodiles and a ton of hippo’s. Then the boat ran out of fuel and we were stranded for a bit, but the view was awesome so we didn’t really mind waiting for our rescue boat. We stopped at an island with another boat and had some snacks. We left after the first boat did, and we noticed someone standing on the shore. We went back and it was a guy from the first boat. Poor guy and had been deserted!! Well, we left him there and kept going.

Just kidding. We picked him up and took him back to the dock. He was really funny and said if he’d had to, he would have climbed a tree and just flailed around till someone saw him. He did look like a guy who would do that and enjoy it. Bahaha!

Three of the youth stayed at another hotel, but stayed with Colleen and me so we could all do the walking safari. Three squished on my bed and two on Colleens. It was cozy, but the bus rides to town have prepared us for that. We saw a ton of elephant dung! Pretty much made the experience. Haha! We didn’t see any elephants, but we did track down (uh, our guide tracked it. We aren’t quite that skilled yet) a rhinoceros, and saw warthogs with babies! So cute. There were a lot of impala and such. The giraffes were pretty awesome as well, but lighter than what I’m used to. The guide said there was a problem of inbreeding and that’s why they’re lighter and smaller. They’re bringing in some new ones in the next few years to help fix that.

Just to clarify, in this place there are no lions or leopards or predators which is why we can walk there.

The prettiest birds are here as well.

The last night, we went back to the Arts Café and they said we could watch the dancing again for free. SAWEET!!!
So we watched the dancing again and talked to some of the performers. They’re on Youtube and EVERYONE should watch them. They have had 4 companies tape them professionally, and each time they never get a video. Ridiculous. The owners, who are from Canada, want to take them there and see if they can get taped there…and not get ripped off. Psh. I want them in Oregon! And then North Carolina.

Before we left, we said goodbye to the hotel people who were simply amazing and so friendly, and to the dogs that I befriended who were adorable, and to our cab driver who was kind enough to pick us up and drop us off at our hotel which is 15 min. outside of town AND didn’t rip us off. He was a cute short man named Joe. Colleen and I called him Joe Fresh cuz of the store in Canada. He wanted Krista’s number though….no no Joe.

But he still visited the other youth at their hotel. Haha! So creepy and so funny.

Oh! When we were going to Shoprite, a man started talking to Colleen and I and after about 10 min. asked us if we went to Church. Colleen said we didn’t go to Church and we were Baha’is. He just kind of “ahhh’d” and told us to have a nice day and walked off. Bhahahahahaahahah! We gotta kick out of that! We now know the secret to getting rid of men!

Joe asked us the same thing when he dropped us off and I told him we have Feast every 19 days. He didn’t walk off, but he did give me a little fold out card thing talking about Jesus. It was a really cool card. Aw, Joe.

I loved Livingston. So much. I think I could live there. It’s just kind of expensive, but that’s ok. I’ll make friends with everyone and visit a lot and stay with them.

Well, before all this happened, I said goodbye to 160 girls. More like 140 since the seniors already left on that fateful day that gave me food poisoning. May I just say the symptoms between malaria and food poisoning are dangerously close? They took me to the hospital, the one I was told NOT to go into cuz I would get diseases, so I could get checked for malaria. Well, about 5 other girls came with me and we left around 10 pm and got back around 1 am. And I couldn’t get checked cuz they were out of testing supplies, so they told me and Krista, who was also sick, to come back in the morning. The doctor said they wanted to check as soon as possible cuz malaria is much more severe in foreigners because they don’t have the immune system for it. I really couldn’t imagine feeling worse, but I knew it wasn’t malaria because I absolutely REFUSE to get malaria. Roya, how did you survive?
So, it turned out to be food poisoning and I was fine in a week. But seriously, if malaria is worse than that…I think I’d just simply beg for death and jump off the Vic Falls bridge.

BUT! Back to the girls leaving, I introduced my parents to some of them and said my goodbyes. Ah, I am going to miss them. One of my girls is for sure not coming back next year, and she’s so sweet and I love her and I am going to miss her SO MUCH!

On Wednesday, Shadon and I did a little activity with them. We wrote a persons name on pieces of paper and got everyone in a circle and passed all the papers around till everyone had written something nice about everyone. We figured since they all hate each other, this would be good to end on, and you know what? Every comment we read (we collected them after so we could check for any mean comments) was nice except one that was really good till the end so we just crossed off the last part. But I was quite happy they did so well! One girl came up to me and said she had learned an important lesson. Even if a person nags and nags and nags, at least they are very determined. YES!!! Thank you for seeing the good in something bad.

On Thursday, we gave each girl her paper and we were going to give them lollipops and sour worms, but there had been a little incident on Sunday. Shadon and I had planned a scavenger hunt which would lead them to the big Common Room so we could watch a movie and eat food. I gave them lollipops then, and then Colleen came and I had to go to junior youth group. Nura and Shadon stayed to watch over them. When I came back, I only had 4 lollipops left and I knew I had had at least 15 when I left.

I was pissed.

One girl asked if she could have one and I said no cuz they’d been stolen. She said she knew a couple of the girls who had done it cuz they told her. I didn’t want this to be a blame game, but I went and talked to the girls anyway. One seemed to have no clue what I was talking about, another said she took one, and the last said she’d been given one and didn’t know it was mine. Bafreakinglogna. She said the girl who took one gave it to her, which really confused me cuz they are not friends and never talk to each other. I knew I wasn’t getting the whole story, so I said they wouldn’t get anything on Thursday and talked to them about stealing. Then, Shadon and I decided we wouldn’t give anyone anything cuz more than one had been taken and we told the girls they wouldn’t get anything unless people stepped up and took responsibility. No one did and no one got anything the last day, but the one girl who said she was given one talked to me a lot more after I talked to her on Monday. I think she wanted attention, which wouldn’t surprise me cuz I feel like a lot of the girls here are neglected. As in, their parents feed and clothe them, but that’s all. It’s really sad.

However, even with the bit o’ drama, I love my grade 8’s so much. They’re such good people. They just need to see that. They all have so much potential and I hope in grade 9 they really start believing that.

Ok. My junior youth group is AMAZING!!!!! There was an end of the year party for the children’s class and JY group’s last Friday. Our JY group prepared a song to sing and can you guess what song they chose? JUST GUESS!!!!!!!

SEASONS OF LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously!!! My JY’s know a song from RENT?!?!?!? You have got to be kidding me. If there was no other reason for me coming here except that, I would be happy. Humphrey and Shuton taught the group the song because they knew it best, and it was rough right up until the performance. They did really well. Ah! You just can’t believe how flippen stoked I was that they knew that song!!!!!!!!!!!

We also had a fundraiser a couple weeks ago. It was a cinema and we watched Alvin and the Chipmunks 2. It was a lot of fun and the only disappointing thing was that the parents didn’t come. Next time, we’ll get them there. Hands down.

Also, a few weeks ago, we had Awards Night. It rained so hard that you couldn’t really hear anyone who was talking. After, I went and stood outside and was pretty much drenched in 5 seconds. Then Mecrice came running up behind me and was screaming for me to run. So we ran…right into a flooded area of the ground and my feet got soaked but I was too busy laughing to care. Oh my gosh it was so much fun to run through the rain!! It was so loud and the thunder seriously sounds like bobs exploding and the lightening lights everything up! You could read a book! I think when I go home and am in a thunderstorm, I’ll just think someone dropped a book or something.

Ahhhh. Nothing like an African storm.

Short and Sweet

God, I love these people. Thank You for creating such magnificent beings.

Another blog?! So soon?!?!?

Please, don't get used to this.

This one will be shorter though, which I am SO happy about.

The celebration of the Birth of Baha’u’llah was fun. Shadon, Colleen, and I made 200 goody bags for everyone. Then the youth and some students spent a few hours arranging flowers and getting things set up, and then, of course, when the evening festivities actually began, mass chaos exploded. Nothing bad happened, but everyone was confused as to where the food should go, who to give it to, where to stand, etc. The youth basically stood back and waited patiently before moving cuz we kept getting told to do different things and we thought it’d be safer to stand back till the smoke cleared. After the devotions, the girl ran and got dressed up, and I mean totally formal. It was like Prom, but with way less guys.

However, some of the girl’s dressed up as guys. One group looked like a boy band…

When the youth finally got to eat, we sat outside with everyone else for maybe 2 minutes and then ate in the kitchen because we were attacked by bugs.  Huge black ones that just kinda land on you and slither through your hair, which reminds me, some girls found a snake by the dorms and killed it.

The rain season has come.

The junior youth are also planning a fundraiser and are hosting a cinema. We put up fliers the other day, and then it started to rain!!!!! Colleen and I ran around like starved little fish! I poured a couple drops of water onto the head of a boy and he filled a water bottle and soaked me…which didn’t really do anything seeing as how I was already soaked…but that’s ok.

Also, I have been going to basketball practice lately and I really want to coach them…but I think they’d hate me cuz I wouldn’t be easy…meh. Anyway. It felt so good to be playing again and I was helping some girls with shooting. Of course, one girl had to have an asthma attack the first time I went. They are so great at welcoming newcomers. Honestly.

They had a tournament on Saturday and I had asked if I could go, and I was told to ask the coach the morning of. So, I got up at 05:45, got ready, went to the Dining Hall and asked if I could go and he said there was no room. NO!!!!!

But at least I get to sleep more and eat pancakes!

So I thought.

30 minutes later there’s a knock on my door and Sanka and Chai are standing there and tell me to go. I was confused, but they said there was room and we had to hurry.

I was stoked.

And it was a great day to go cuz it wasn’t insanely windy so my eyes didn’t go blind from dirt flying into them and…

Both the junior team and senior team won the CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I get a Hoo! HOO! Can I get a Hoo Hah! HOO HAH! Can I get a Banani! BANANIIIII BANANI!!!!! ZE!

It was awesome! The only downside was that I got sunburned even though I put sunblock on twice! And not only did my face burn….but my EYEBALLS burned!!!!! Mah! Killer. It looked like I had cried for a week straight. Ugh. And my sunglasses were in my bag and I totally forgot. Oh joy.

The new youth came today. Her name is Sharghi. Guess where she is from?

No, not Oregon. But she is from AMERICA!!! Seriously. North America has invaded Banani. When Mei and Shalom leave this month, goodbye diversity of countries. We represent Canada and America here. We told the school to stop accepting people from there and get some diversity in here…..

We also finished the new books and got them into the library! Woo! I think we have 20 ish more to go….but we finished what we were given.

Oh, Krista and I went to the art cabinet in the gym to get supplies to decorate for Sports Awards Night…well. That was disgusting. There were dead spiders, spider webs, spider eggs, and lot’s of iffy looking things. There was some paint in the waaaaaay back that we couldn’t get to, so we tried to lasso, but that didn’t work. Then I found a pole on some exercise equipment I’d been playing on and took it off and used it to get the can. SUCCESS! We were thinking one of these days we’d give that cabinet some TLC.

It’s exam time here at Banani, and it has never been so quiet. I mean, these are the do or die exams so I understand. Man, I wish it was exam time all year round! Haha!

To all my friends who are in school right now, I hope everything is going great and you’re acing your exams!

Well, graduation is next week so we are setting up for that. They dance at their grad. So cool! Some girls have tried to teach me traditional dance. I have a ways to go, but I think with practice I will get it! 

My friends, the girls here can DANCE!!!! Grade 10 has some insane dancers! It’s crazy.

Oh Geez!!! I saw a chameleon yesterday!!! And it changed colors! I was quite happy about that.
Well, I think that’s all. If not, I know where to come.

LYLT (love you long time)

Ringworm!!!

Ha! That's a disgusting title. But, it's pretty much gone now. Yay!

Anyway, I have once agian fallen behind in journaling, and I hate catch up. Whatever.

So Wednesday is my day off, and I planned at the start to have the same day off as Shalom, and I figured that she has lived here her whole life and could show me around...and help me not get ripped off by the buses, which she has been a saint at.
Well, this doesn't always work out and I go on little adventures anyway. Last Wednesday, the primary school's principle had a a daughter in the hospital, so she and I went to go visit her. However, she said I couldn't enter the hospital because I would contract diseases cuz I'm white.

Uh, come again? That sounded really strange to me, and I said I 'd be fine, but she insisted.

Well, we bought an orange for the girl and then walked to the hospital. She called the mom and asked her to come out and get it, so that she didn't have to leave me, but the mother didn't want to leave her daughter. Understandable.

But she didn't know what to do with the orange and I told her to give it to the mom later that day, but she wanted to give it to her then. I told her there was no way she was going to leave me alone, in front of a hospital, in a place I've never been before, in Africa.

However, I knew her well enough to know that this is EXACTLY what she would do, but instead of leaving me alone, she calls over two schoolgirl's (one of which I'd seen before cuz she comes to the devotionals at the institute) and bascially tells them to babysit me and to not let any men talk to me. Haha! The looks on the their faces were priceless...but I felt so stupid. It's better than being alone though.

She said she'd be very quick to drop off the orange and left. Five minutes later, the girls said they had to go cuz their class was starting and I said that was fine. I sat down under a tree, and then a woman came up to me and started talking to me. Finally, about 30 ish minutes later she comes back out.
Now, I would like to say that during this whole experience, I never once felt scared or in danger. The people here are very friendly, but I was so annoyed that she left me outside of a random hospital cuz I'd "contract diseases cuz I'm white." Mah! However, it's a good experience cuz she won't be with us next year...so I gotta get used to being on my own.

I love her so much, but seriously....really? Really?

Also, the girl is doing very well now. It must have been that orange...

And then this past Wednesday, Shalom, Colleen, and I went to Lusaka and one of my goals was to find a dress for the Birth of Baha'u'llah.

So, we arrive in Lusaka and we ask Shalom where some good places are to get dresses. I mean, we don't know our way around Lusaka and she does, so, hey, she should know some places.
Well, unfortunately, she had to drop off papers for school and couldn't come with us, so she named some stores. By the way, I feel really bad for her cuz she has been running around trying to get all of that situated.
She told us to go to a store called Games at Manda Hill, the mall, and I that I would find something there. I have never been to Games, but it sounded a little....strange to me. And Colleen was really confused cuz she said the last time she was there, there were no clothes at all.
So we get to Manda Hill and we go to Games. I didn't even have to walk in to know there was absolutely nothing even remotely resembling clothes in the store. Mah!
So we walked around the mall which is being built, so there's only a few shops, and we went to every store and there was nothing. Well, ok. There was one store with dresses, but they seemed a little...well, like they were missing A LOT of material.

I gave up on the dress after a while and just got a dressy shirt to go with one of my skirts. Then Colleen and I called Shalom and said we'd meet her at the bus station and she told us to go ahead without her if we found a full bus.

We ended up getting a full bus and we scadaddled out of Lusaka, and didn't see her till the next day. Don't worry. She has made the trip plenty of times on her own, so we knew she'd be fine.

When I got back, all the girl's asked what my dress looked like and I told them I hadn't gotten one cuz I only went to Manda Hill. They started naming off all these places I could have gone to that were near Manda Hill, but I had no idea how to get to them.

 Sometimes I think Shalom forgets the other youth servers here aren't natives...but then again, I think she leaves us on our own so we get used to the place when she is gone. Ha! Tough love, right?

The other day some girls were asking me about the hospital accident and one of them asked me why I thought I'd get diseases. I was a bit confused and she told me that she had been told I didn't want to go in cuz I would get sick.

What?! Please! I told them that I had been told not go in because of that reason. Psh.

Anyway, we recieved a ton of boxes full of new books for the library from previous youth, and now we are going through them and entering them into the system, labeling them, and shelving them. It's tiresome, but the books look really good and the student's are really excited.

Ok.....I am so EXTREMELY HAPPY!!!! There is this one girl, Sanka, who I have wanted to be friends with since...well basically since I got here and I have not had the guts to talk to her, but FINALLY!!! last week in the library we started talking when she checked out a book and now I visit her and some other girls in their dorm rooms. I really REALLY want to be the senior dorm mom next year cuz I love those girls and then I could talk to Sanka every day!!!! I would be so happy.

By the way, I feel like some of the girls think I'm a freak cuz I say I love them a lot, and when I say it, I'm really excited about it. I'm just overwhelmed with love for all of them though! For real, I have never been so....drawn to people before. Some of them are starting to respond with the same enthusiasm though, so that's good. But maybe I'll mellow down...
It also rained Tuesday night. Not hard, but there was so much lightening and the thunder! Oh man, the thunder. So glorious. Colleen and I stood in the rain for twenty minutes until we were soaking. It was amazing.

A new youth, Nura, came last week and I felt really bad for her cuz she only got two days to rest until she was put into a dorm. The loudest dorm too. But I really like her so far and she has great ideas...and she plays guitar. What more could you want?

A few weeks ago, Colleen and I were talking with Peter (Peta the Playa) and we kinda sorta started harassing him and interrogating him about his life, and we think we made him mad, but he still insists he wasn't, so we made him a "we're sorry card" with two girls crying and standing in a puddle of tears on the front. He loved it, but he said he wasn't ever mad at us, he was just really tired. Yeah, likely story. But we're still the best of friends. All the girls think we're in love with him cuz we talk to him all the time, which, we do love Peta. SO MUCH! But we aren't IN love with Peta and they don't seem to understand you can be friends with guys and not like them like that. Oh well. He's sooo funny though! He teaches the little boys over by the institute how to do somersaults. Now, the somersaults here are nothing like the somersaults back home. The somersaults here are flips, and trickly little twist flip things. Peta hurt his wrist doing one. Oh Peta.

He was also teaching me how to walk like a gangsta, which I pretty much figured out if you walk like your leg is injured and throw your arms wide and just look ridiculous, you've got it down.

So you may be wondering why he was teaching me this, and it's because I wanted to be totally prepared for my rap off. I wrote my rap, had a costume, kinda, and so I just need the G walk.

My rap off was yesterday. Let me tell you, I was so nervous!!! I don't know if you guys have guessed, but I am no rapper. Ohhhhh no. So when we went to do junior youth group yesterday, he comes up and says, "Let's do it. I'm in a rapping mood now." I refused. I had just gotten there! I needed to collect myself and not puke!!! SO we waited until we had studied the book, and then after that he said he didn't want to do it, and that we should do it today. Ha! There was no way he was backing out. He has talent. I don't. He could win even if he didn't try and I just wanted to get it over with. So we did it. I went first, cuz I'm a stud, and then he went. I couldn't understand much about what he was saying though because it was a mix of Bemba, Nyanja, and English. At the end, I would say it was a tie. I think I held my own against that 15 year old!!
Oh, and he and his friends do that "man hug" where they grab hands and then shoulder bump. Colleen and I call it the Brotherhood Hug a.k.a the BHH! Humphrey, the guy I battled, and I have started doing that and I think it's the funniest thing in the world. He also taught me how to do a flip into the pool!

By the way, just now I asked Nura if "funniest" is a word and she said, "Well, yeah. Funniest Home Videos. " We started laughing cuz of course if it's on TV it MUST be true...right?

There's also this man at the institute, Mr. Chibwe, who we bother almost everyday about books that we want and he asked us if we would type up Ruhi translations. A little intimidating, and I really don't feel like screwing up Ruhi, but we have spare time so we agreed. However, we need to ask the principle if we can do things the institute has asked of us, so I talked to the principle and she said he needs to formally ask her and then the vice president said we should learn how to say "no." This really irritated me cuz we have a lot of spare time here and it wouldn't kill us to help them out. I guess in the past the institute has taken advantage of the youth and had them to a ton of work, so now the school wants everything to go through them so we don't get tired out....but for real. We don't do a crazy amount of stuff everyday. We could definitely manage it. Ugh. Sometimes the rules at this school really bother me. I already got in trouble cuz I'm too felxible with the rules for my grade 8's....sorry if you freaking feed them sugary foods for evening snack, and then half an hour later they're expected to be in bed! Please. I would hate that and that's not healthy. So I don't really care if they go to bed 10  minutes after they're supposed to. MOTHER!

Whew. Sorry. I just have some issues and I feel like when I talk to the administration, they don't really listen.
Ok, so back to what I am actually doing here at the school. There is still so much drama in my dorm. Seriously. World War 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8....have happened. It's absolutely ridiculous. Someone even threatened someone else's life and there are fights over the pettiest things EVER!!! Once, some of the grade 9's thought one of my girls rolled her eyes at them, so naturally, they bring over their ENTIRE dorm and surround her outside of my dorm. I was beyond pissed and I told them to get out of my area. They wouldn't budge, so I put my girl back in my dorm and shut the door. I repeated to the grade 9's that they needed to leave immediately or I'd give them a consequence. Finally, one girl had the most BRILLIANT idea of leaving my dorm and going back to theirs. Gee. WHAT an idea!
I think they could see how plainly pissed I was that they were bullying my girls again, and left. I talked to the girl in my dorm about the issue, and then I went and spoke with the Grade 9's about what they thought and basically what had happened was this:

2 of my grade 8's were talking with a grade 9 and joking, and then the grade 9 got mad about something and the next day, my grade 8's were walking past them and one said a joke and the other girl laughed and rolled her eyes at the joke. The grade 9's thought she was rolling her eyes at them, specifically at the girl she had been joking with the previous day, and figured coming up to her like a pack of savage, hungry wolves, was the way to solve it.

Well, I told them that was completely inappropriate and uncalled for. It's an issue between TWO girls...not 20. I was trying so hard to keep cool when I just wanted to explode. At first Iw as being slightly rude, so I just took a few deep breaths and explained why I had been upset that they all charged over there. One girl said that grade 9's stick together (which is a complete and utter lie if they actually thought about how many times they go against each other) and I told her that HItler and the Nazi's stuck together and killed 6 million jew. Was that ok? (this was probably a little uncalled for, but I was trying to get my point across) and the girl said they didn't kill anybody. I told her that wasn't the point, the fact that all ganged up on her was uncalled for and I asked if she thought the girl who apparently was offended was a coward? No. Is she unable to stand up for herself? No. Is she unable to handle her own problems? No. Well, then why did all of you come over to talk to one of my girls when it has nothing to do with you? The girl with the issue didn't even say anything and I told them they were doing her a disservice by fighting her own battles and they were limiting her growth. Then I left before I said anything mean again.

I cannot tell you how mad  was at them. Shalom came over to help us sort it out and as all this was going on, a semi physical fight was going on in the grade 9's dorm (yeah, they really stick together, eh?). I mean, it was just shoving and it ended pretty quickly thanks to Krista's quick "cut the crap" attitude. Everything was crazy that night. There was a full moon, and we blamed everything on that. Logical? Yes.

There is also just a lot of attitude adn one girl is mad at me cuz of a comment I put in her room. The dorm mom's check the rooms for cleanliness everyday and leave comments on the comment sheet in each room. Well, a girl gave me a list of guys the girls liked so I could put those as comments (I get bored with saying "Great" and " Please sweep" so I do random comments) and one girl was following me around and it was Shadon's day off so I had to check her dorm as well, and I put ice cream flavors in those rooms cuz I didn't know the guys they liked, but one girl was in her room and told me a guys name to put on her sheet, so I did and the girl who was following me flipped out. I mean....absolutely went ballistic and was yelling at me that it was unfair that the other girl got to pick a name and she didn't and she just went off on me! I told her she could change it if she wanted, and that I wouldn't mind or she could cross it off, but she just kept yelling at me, right in my ear, and throwing a fit. She would not calm down so I said she can change it, leave it, or cross it off, but I'm not discussing it further with her and walked off.

She hasn't talked to me for two weeks. However, this doesn't really bother me though, cuz she is the one who is angry and I know it's taking a lot of energy for her cuz she just always has to ignore me, or walk by in a huff and blah blah blah. I just ignore it and I am definitely over it. Yes, I will be a terrible mother, but I'm not wasting my time with attitude.

Anyway, I had a meeting with my girls last night and I had made up a list of consequences...and they didn't really complain about any of them. On the contrary, they seemed rather pleased with them. I also told them I wouldn't tolerate any backbiting/gossiping or attitude at all (last week we had a talk on backbiting and one girl said since they were girls they wouldn't completely stop cuz it was hard. We never said it would be easy, all we asked is that they strive to better themselves). I wasn't mean  when I was explaining all this, but I wanted them to know that I was done with their crap basically (I didn't say that) and that I knew they were much better than that and I was going to hold them to a higher standard.

When I've been with these girls individually, they are so sweet and fun, but get them together and they send the Roman army running. It's ridiculous. I know they are capable of excelling, and I am not accepting ANYTHING less than excellence. They seemed ok with all this and happy about it, which shows me that they really do want to be better people. Ah, man. Seriously. It's so sad to see perfectly capable/compassionate/ friendly people lower their standards so much. I'm glad they're willing to try and change the overall attitude in the dorm.

So, even with all these difficulties, I love my girls. So much. And I'm finally getting to know more of the girls from other grades and I love them as well. I knw it may sound like it's just frustrating, but I have so much fun with them, except when I rap for them cuz that's kinda embarrassing. Sometimes I think about how I'll feel when I leave and I want to cry. My heart pretty much falls out of me. I'll hate leaving. I don't know why I keep thinking about it when I have 8 more months here, but I am going to miss these girls and the culture so much. Everything about this place pulls me to it. I try not to think about it, but some girls have told me that they may not come back next year and I almost started crying right there. Almost. I think half of them are lying, but there are a couple who are serious.

Ugh. It just kills me. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to see my friends and family again, especially JET!!! (who I miss tons and tons and can't wait to see him again!) but I think I will be homesick when I go back to America. A friend recently went to visit my family and he said that I would spend the rest of my life trying to find a way to come back here. I have no doubt in my mind about that.

It's the Most crazy-hottest-sweat-dripping-down-your-body-wishing-for-the-coolness-of-fire-feeling-the-blood-boiling-in-your-veins Time of the Year

Well, it as been quite some time since I have updated this...and that's only because I haven't been able to connect to it...there have been many "Please please please! Just 15 minutes! That's all I'm asking!!!"

"Fine. Before I punch the computer...I'm walking away."

But, now I am able to update. However, since A TON has happened, I may forget things and have to come back and write another blog. So I apologize for the scatter-brained stories and how everything will basically be out of order.

By the way...I fell a week behind in journaling and it took FOREVER to catch up. And catch up sucks. Major.

Anywho, back to the point of this blog.


Well.....a few weeks ago I decided to do a little activity with my girls that might be familiar to you peeps....it's from the Freedom Writers movie. You know, the line game?
Well, I did that with my girls cuz there is so much blatant meanness among them and I wanted to make them see that. Seriously, if I didn't actually believe world peace would happen...I would blame the destruction of the world entirely on the female species.
Anyway, this wonderful woman who was visiting the school for a few days (interviewing for a job) helped me out with questions I should ask. I love this woman and I really want her to be a teacher here next year. So badly.
The questions started off pretty light...like step forward if you go to Banani or if your favorite color is purple (everyone's favorite color is purple here for some reason...not to diss the color, I love it...but it's everyone's favorite), favorite sport is volleyball...etc. I wanted to ask questions that I knew the majority would step forward for, cuz I wanted them to see they have things in common with everybody and would feel more comfortable with the tougher questions.
These questions were asking about bullying and background and personal things...not too personal though that they wouldn't participate. I was so worried they would just goof off, but they actually took it seriously and I think they got a lot out of it. I wanted to do it right before they went to bed so they could think about it. Some people cried, which isn't surprising cuz a lot of them stepped forward to things that shouldn't have happened to them. But...being mean is kinda the thing here I have noticed.

And I am having none of that!!!!

But some people took the opportunity to apologize to people they had hurt. I was so happy that it worked! The new youth that joined us, Shadon, is the other dorm mom for grade 8, so I have backup!! Yay! She and I want to start doing unity/bonding activitites with them. It's definitely a work in progress, but I am so sick of them treating wach other like crap. They are really sweet girls one on one...but they are a freaking pack of wolves when they get together. And the grade 12's pick on them a lot and they just take it. They say they have the right to since they have been here longer.

Right, and Hitler is allowed to kill millions of Jews because he's better than them.....

Alright, well. We just got back from mid-term break and the youth went to Lusaka. We stayed with Martha, a member of the school board. All six of us in one house. Psh. Baha'is basically sleep dog-pile style, so that wasn't a problem. BUT! I did get waaaay more bug bites there than I did at Banani. Ugh. So annoying.
We saw a Bollywood movie, Anjaana Anjaani. It was good. But, I think all Bollywood movies are good cuz they are hysterical when they shouldn't be....and they mixed English in with Hindi. It was confusing..but they had subtitles so all was well.
Then, Colleen had to go to the Tanzania Embassy...so one morning we got on a mini-bus (which I have to say are one of my favorite things here) and told them we wanted to go to Longacre...wells......40 minutes later, after we had a nice tour of Chelston and Avondale...we came to the end of the line....
After everyone got off the bus, and we were the only ones left, the conductor was standing by Colleen's window and she said we had wanted to go to Longacres...he just looked at her and grunted. hahahah! Then we told the driver and we had a nice laugh over our stupidity/misunderstanding...and they took us back to town. We decided to just go back home and go with Martha at 7 in the morning the next day.
That night we went to Arcades to get some food and necessities...and by the time we left it was dark. So we got on my favorite vehicle, the mini-bus, and went home.
But not quite. As we walked down the road, we were confused about where to turn to go to Martha's cuz nothing looked familiar. Then Mei asked a woman where Makishi Road is, and she pointed over yonder basically. She told us we were on the way to the COMPOUND!! Now wouldn't that be something! 6 white girl's going to the compound..safe? Sure.....
well, it was quite apparent to us that  we had gotten off at the wrong stop, which is why we were so confused about where to turn to go to Martha's. So we started to walk back and then a taxi came and took us home. It was quite the spontaneous adventures day.

We also went to the Sunday market and Colleen and I got each other copper bracelets from the same man who gave the other youth earrings and didn't like Alaska. He said he missed us...I'm sure he meant he missed ripping us off when we came to buy things...ha! Kidding. It's easy to bargain with him since we're friends. We got the bracelets for 5 dollars. 5 DOLLARS!!!!! That is good. He originally said 50 pin, but we got it down to 25 pin. Shalom, our native youth Zambian, said it should have been 15 pin...but...that seems like we'd be ripping him off.
OH! And I also asked him if he thought 50 pin was a fair price and if he was being truthful when he said yes. Colleen said, "Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues!!!!!!!" She says this a lot. And then he asked about the Baha'i Faith again and how he is Muslim...and then I said if he was lying to us, Muhammed would be upset with him and God would deal with him. WWMD!?!?!? Haha! All in good fun of course. He just laughed and told us to take the bracelets for 25 pin. He's a funny man, that one. AFter that, we watched a soccer game. Much more exciting live...and with good teams.
Then, on Wednesday we went to town...to the city market. All I wanted were shoes and chitenge's...but instead we got bombarded with men asking us our names, calling us over to their shops to buy stuff, asking where we are from.....blah blah blah. It was very amusing...but after a while it got a little annoying. I couldn't concentrate on shopping and getting what I needed. However, whether that's because they were annoying or attractive...I don't know. Haha! Just kidding. I figured out that if you smile at them and they come up and talk to you...then they are probably obnoxious...but if you smile at them and they smile back, wave, and keep walking....he's a keeper. Too bad you can't really keep 'em cuz they leave....
BUT! There was this one guy at a chitenge stand who I smiled at and he started talking to me and wasn't bloody annoying. So there is hope for the world.
There was one guy who was selling bags...and then when he saw us he walked with for an hour and a half!! Just talking and asking us questions. He completely forgot about his bag business and just followed us. Then Colleen said he had two options
1) Take a nap. You seem a little intoxicated and I think you should sleep it off
2) Go sell your bags...that's your job

And then Mei added a third.
We call the cops....the popo.

Bahahah! He left...for a bit. Then came back. Some guy wanted to shake my hand and I was just so annoyed and stood there...then the bag guy grabbed his hand and said no. I was thankful for him then. I guess he was like a terrier. A really annoying guard dog. Haha! He was nice...but sooooo talkative!

The youth here have started doing Ruhi book 6...and I am the tutor...pretty sure I suck...but HEY! It's all a learning experience. (wait, Colleen says I don't suck....I think she lies. Colleen...Truthfulness is the foundation!) Anyway, that has been fun and on Friday's we sometimes do Ruhi with the Baha'i girls here. I am doing book 7 with Lua...and I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH!!!! The other youth aren't "official" tutors, but they are definitely capable of tutoring books 1 and 2. It's a lot of fun...at least to me. Lua and I did about 3 pages of B7....and I just fell in love with it. But, Lua is such a wise girl and makes it so interesting. Mah! Love her.

Let's see....last Friday. Shalom got her hair done in Liteta and I fell in love with the woman doing her hair, Sylvia. I told Shalom, and Shalom told her...so I felt kinda like a creep...but she was happy and told Shalom to give me her number! Woot! New friend! I really want to visit her.
Also,  Colleen and I wanted to go swimming at night. We got ready and went to the pull. Krista had said she'd unlocked it, but when we got there...it had been locked. And then red and attacked Colleen and we ran to a table and she took off everything but her bathing suit (was that appropriate to write in a blog?) and she had abandoned her shoe and towel. Well, we weren't going to let a swarm of red ants keep us from swimming...so I ran to get her new shoes and ran into a girl who was looking for Shalom. She wanted to swim with us so I told her to wait by admin. Then we went to Ms. Davis to get the pool keys, but she wasn't there. We went to Mr. Moore's..but his lights were off. So we went to the guards, but they didn't have it either. So we tried Mr. Tembo...lo and behold!!!!

He didn't have them either, and he said Ms. Davis was in Lusaka for a meeting and wouldn't be back till late. So then we walked back and as we passed the guard he said Mr. Tembo radio'd him and said to go to Mr. Moore. So we tried Mr. Moore's again and actually knocked...but nothing. What to do?
Some thought this was a sign that we shouldn't go swimming. I said God was testing us to see how badly we wanted to swim.
Now, most people would give up and just go home...but not us youth! We had one more option.

When all else fails....scale the fence.

Yes. Scale the fence.

In the brick wall surrounding the pool, there is a circular window thing with iron rods attaching it to the wall. These we used as foothols as we hoisted ourselves up and swung over the fence. We had made it.

FREEDOM!!!! We sma around for about 40 minutes. The water was chilly, but it was still nice to be in it. We crawled around on our knees which was a lot of fun. When we got out, we scaled the fence again and took warm showers. Oh the bliss of nightime adventures!

On Saturday, we swam with the junior youth and children. As we hunted them down to tell them, we ran into Humphrey, the amazing drummer! This was the day I decided to ruin my life and throw away any dignity and respect I had...
We were talking to him and some other JY's about our Bemba names and then Humphrey asked if we knew his...um, yeah! Humphrey!
But he has two others we didn't know about. Fun Guy and Twist Rappa.
At this, I laughed and said I was probably a better rapper than him, so Shadon suggested we have a rap off.

What. Why did THAT girl have to come? Ha!

When we went swimming I asked Humphrey to rap a little for me so I knew what I was up against. Well. My worst fears were confirmed. He was going to destroy me. And he had just written it the day before and it was so good! SO GOOD! GUH! What was I thinking?!?!

Psh. Please. I ain't scurred. I'm only pretending to be so that I completley blow his mind away with my rap!

Right?

The girls are back. I hate checking bags. It's hot and sweaty and takes forever. They can't have gum, food, money...etc. However, it would be so easy for them to just go back to their parents and get stuff from them after they have been checked. Man. This system needs some serious improvement.

Today I did laundry. I actually like handwashing, minus the cuts and bleeding. But I didn't get any this time! I'm toughening up!
I had so much to do because of the break and I was a quarter of the way through it when Mercy, one of the maids, asked me to sit with her and eat and have tea. I was so excited to do that cuz I have really wanted to get to know her...but I was nervous. Ha! We talked for a while and then she helped me finish my laundry. I thought that was so sweet of her. And she is friends with Sylvia!!!!!!
Some of my favorite people are the maids. They are so much fun to talk with and they always call me Chikondi. I just love them so much! Especially Brenda and Mercy. They are the ones who I have seen the most. Oh, and I love the chef, Peter a.k.a. Peta the Playa a.k.a. PtP.

OK. So I am positive I left out many important details, but this is all I can remember for now. I'm sure I will be blogging soon about something I wanted to talk about...like one of my girls who didn't want to go to the bathroom alone at night cuz she saw a bogart in her room...hm. That's funny. Colleen was just talking to her that day about Harry Potter and bogarts. Coincidence? Definitely not.

Now, here is a song I really want to share with everyone. I made it up a few weeks ago. Here it is:

I'm in love with a drummer
Who happens to be a child
Boy I must be turning into a pedophile

Colleen's part:
Small boy?

And that pretty much sums up my time here.